I have something important to talk about. It's been eating at me since something happened recently.
I'm turning 16 in about a month, so I'm growing up. I look a lot different than I used to. I'm getting pimples and the dreaded body hair. I also look a bit prettier than I used to. What bothers me is the way guys react to it. Like, just because I'm posting a photo of myself that makes me feel good, doesn't give you the right to ask for nudes or call me sexy when you don't even know me!
When I started getting followed by some guys on Instagram I didn't know, I was a bit weirded out, but I also kind of liked the attention. I was like "wow, people find me attractive!". Then some of these guys DM'd me and I have to be honest; I got a little excited! They clearly thought I looked pretty or something, and that made me feel nice. One of them seemed really nice. he said he was from Germany, and he said he thought I was pretty. Don't worry, I wasn't planning on meeting up with him or anything! Then he ruined the whole thing. He said,
"I'm horny. Let's make a sex chat!" I politely declined and blocked him. Then another dude sent me a picture of 2 people doing... naughty stuff. I don't need to elaborate. So I blocked him as well. Then yesterday some guy messaged me and said hi, then he basically said,
"I'm just going to get straight to the point. You're really pretty". I said thank you. Then he asked me for a picture of me in a bra, which I declined because I don't freaking know him! I'll only ever send pictures like that to someone I love and trust, and maybe not even those people. I don't want those going around!
i-and other girls, I think-have this mentality.
"Oh, I'm growing up! I should expect this!" and that's really sad. When I got those messages, I wasn't excited and happy! Frankly, I was creeped out! But I wasn't surprised. I just felt acceptance, like
"Well, I knew this was coming". That's horrible! What do guys think they're going to accomplish with those messages? Do they think that just by outright asking for naughty pictures or calling us sexy, they're going to get the pictures they want? Yes, they do. And the problem is, a lot of the time, it works. Desperate or lonely girls get a message from a guy, and they click send without thinking. Next thing you know, the pictures have been sent to your friends, his friends, and complete strangers! Just because he seems nice doesn't mean you should trust him! He could be 40 for all you know!
We girls feel obliged to send these things! It's not good! We are our own people, and we have every right to say no and fight back. I'm not saying that if you have a boyfriend (or girlfriend) of 3 years that you love and trust that you should never send them photos of yourself. It's okay to trust, but we shouldn't throw that trust around willy-nilly to people we don't know. This goes for guys as well. If a guy gets a message from a girl or guy that's creepy, block them! We have every right to say NO.
This part is just for the dudes: don't send messages to girls you don't know calling them sexy, or asking for bra pictures! If you get them after you've asked, or if you just randomly get them, delete them. And tell the girls how you feel, but don't be weird and creepy. You can say they look pretty, but don't call them sexy and say you'd like to take them to bed. What they send you is their business, so delete the pictures, because it is their body, and it shouldn't be violated.
We girls (and guys) have a right to stand up for ourselves. Don't have super high expectations, because not every boy is going to be the perfect prince. But don't have low expectations either. You should expect to be treated right, and be spoken to kindly. Be yourself, and you will find the right person, even if it happens when you're 15 or 32.
I'm sorry, this turned into something completely different from what I intended. Basically what I'm trying to say are girls and boys! You don't have to say yes to everything someone asks, whether it's on Snapchat, Instagram, or in person. And it is 100% NOT your fault if they force themselves on you. It is their fault if they can't realize that no means no.
Anyways, I just wanted to say that, and if you guys ever need to talk about stuff, you can email me or DM me on Instagram, or even comment on here. Just please don't be weird about it!
