When you see a guy you like in preschool or kindergarten, you would usually giggle and then go talk to him, and then you'd be walking around the playground holding hands and sharing PB&J sandwiches. Then a day later he'd say something like, ‘I don't like you anymore, you wear pigtails’ and walk away, and you'd act all upset for about 3 seconds, then you'd be off running around again and all happy. I'm 15 and have never dated, so I’m not really a big romancer, but WHAT?! How are you so happy already? Then it comes to grades 1-3, where you see the guy you like and start blushing and then you whisper to your friend and they whisper back and the whole class you're passing notes about him. And then the boy looks at you and catches you staring so you turn bright red and look away. And if he finds out about your crush he teases you for days about it and his and your friends start singing the K.I.S.S.I.N.G. song and you're both like ‘ Ew, gross!’. Then comes grades 4 to 6 where you suddenly have the confidence to tell him everything, so you write him a note or get your friend to tell him and he laughs and jokes around and acts disgusted. You start chasing him around the playground trying to get his attention and he just runs from you. Then there's the lovely Middle School hell-hole, where the hormones kick in and the feelings you have increase tenfold, and you literally can't even look at him. Like, for the guys who don't understand what goes through a girl's head in those moments, here's a pretty accurate representation: “OMG! He's sitting at the desk across from me! I can't look at him. What if I look at him and he's looking at me? Then he'll think I've been staring at him this whole time and he'll think I'm a stalker and he'll never talk to me again! But I have to take one peek OH MY GOD he's looking at me I'm going to die!!... et cetera. We females can be dramatic sometimes, I'll admit it, and we're always thinking of the worst possible scenarios, but you never know what could happen right?
Here's a funny yet depressing story of how I got rejected. I had a crush on a guy, let's call him Cody. This guy Cody had a girlfriend, but that wasn't stopping me. I didn't know a lot about him, only that he had a girlfriend and (I think) smoked. I found him pretty cute, and, well, tbh, I still do. So I wrote him a note telling him I liked him and asked him what he thought. I got my friend to give it to him and next thing you know I hear laughing, and then I looked over as he said “ haha you're funny. You're obviously kidding!”. I told him several times that I wasn't (I really don't know where my confidence came from) But he still didn't believe me, so I gave up.
So basically what I'm saying is, girls! You probably won't find the right guy until you're at least 17, although if you're mature enough to truly understand love, then you're probably old enough. I say probably because anything can happen, but you probably won't find your soulmate in middle school, and if you think he's the perfect guy because you guys have done it together, leave him! Although if you truly love him obviously don't leave him. But loving someone is not the same thing it's doing it with something! If you've been dating long enough, and you're sure he doesn't want you for your body, and he loves you for you, he's the guy for you. Marry him or don't, but if you truly love him, and can forgive him without him seducing you or threatening you, then he's the one.
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I really don't know where all this came from. I was sitting in bed and I decided to start writing. It was like 9:30, so I was kind of tired, but once I come up with something or an idea pops into my head, I have to write it down or I'll be up all night thinking about it. Reading it over now, I realize, this is really deep! What was going through my head? Anyway, thanks for reading and everything.
